A Series of Shakespearian Events
by Firefly Conlon
Summary: The Tempest, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, A Midsummer Night's Dream: Short stories with parodies intertwined. These short stories make you look at the represented play with new eyes, they challenge your brain. Take a look: I DARE YOU!
1. A Strange Aquaintance

**So I altered some things, kept some things the same...and basically re-wrote the scene I was in from _The Tempest_. Ferdinand = 'Mafia' (From Out Of A Hat) and Miranda is Me! I re-wrote every Shakespearian quote strictly from memory...yay. Here you go, my adaptation of Scene 2 of _The Tempest_!**

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Miranda crept down to the deserted beach, unaware of the spirits, who were twisting themselves around her ankles. Their invisible forms attempting to halt her steps, unheard voices whispering their warnings. She sat on a flat rock near the shore; her pale blue nightgown was pulled up around her ankles as she watched the tide ebb and flow. She thought of her father, Caliban, and Ariel, the only spirit she could see. There were so few people in the world, a world she had no knowledge of. The pale sand shone eerily in the light of the full moon. The water seemed to shine with an unknown purpose, as if it was withholding a strange secret from the fifteen year old girl that sat at its edge.

"Miranda, why are you away from home?" her father's stern voice pulled her from her reverie.

"I couldn't sleep and it's so beautiful with the full moon, I'm sorry Papa," She bowed her head as she walked to her father's side obediently.

"You can't leave without me; ever since Caliban…I just don't trust this island. It's not that I don't want you to be free, it's just that I love you," he ran his calloused hand through her hair, smiling down at her. She smiled back, he loved her. That was all that mattered to Miranda, Prospero loved her.

"I shall go to bed now, father, and I won't wander," her promise was tied by Prospero's magic. The wizard nodded and watched his daughter walk back towards their cottage. His magic spirits had come in handy when building the small house. Prospero turned to the sea.

He waved his magic staff over the sea, a ripple of magic spread out to sea as he summoned Ariel. When the small nymph-spirit appeared by his side Prospero gave his orders.

"Go, find my brother's ship and bring it here by way of a wreck. Do not kill anyone, bring them to the shore. I want the Prince in this exact spot in the morning,"

"Yes master," Ariel leapt into the aquamarine water and disappeared from sight, a faint light glowing from where he splashed. Suddenly Prospero heard the crack of thunder and he saw the gathering clouds not far off, revenge was finally his. Now to strand the King's son near Miranda's favorite spot on the beach.

Prospero turned and walked back to his home.

ARIEL'S POV

O every article. I boarded the king's ship; now on the beak, now in the waist, the deck, in every cabin, I flamed amazement: sometime I'd divide, and burn in many places; on the topmast, the yards and bowsprit, would I flame distinctly, then meet and join. Jove's lightning's, the precursors O' the dreadful thunder-claps, more momentary and sight-outrunning were not; the fire and cracks of sulphurous roaring the most mighty Neptune seem to besiege and make his bold waves tremble, yea, his dread trident shake.

I recited my spell as I stole over the King's ship. I watched from above as the Prince jumped overboard followed by his father and the rest of the ship's company. I sent my mighty currents to pull them all in separate directions, the Prince called out to his fellows before being pulled under the tumultuous waters. I made sure not to drown any of them, but made sure they were unconscious when they washed up upon the beach. Ferdinand was in the correct place; I floated around him, and planted my words of deception in his ears. I wound my spell tight; no error could find its way through. He would not be able to see another figure until Prospero made it so.

"Full fathom five thy father lies,

Of his bones are coral made

Those are pearls that were his eyes

Nothing of him that doth fade

But dost suffer a sea change

Into something rich and strange

Sea nymphs hourly ring his knell

Hark I hear them, ding dong bell!"

He opened his eyes, blinking in the bright sunlight and looking about.

"This ditty does remember my drowned father, this is no mortal business, nor no sound that the Earth owes!" he spoke as Prospero and Miranda walked along the beach. Ferdinand stood and looked around the isle; I quickly set him down on the selfsame rock that Miranda was sitting upon last night. Just then, she caught sight of him.

"What is't a spirit? Lord how it looks about," she gave a breathy laugh as Ferdinand looked around for another human. "He carries a brave form, but tis a spirit." She was unbelieving.

"No, wench, it eats and sleeps and such senses as we have such," Prospero said, explaining in short that this too, was a human. Miranda did not know it was bad he could not see her, in fact, besides her father; this was the first human she'd ever seen. She walked over and touched his clothes and mussed his blond hair, inspecting him like you would a new toy. She laughed as he looked around for the source of the strange sensations. Just then, Prospero made Miranda visible to Ferdinand. He turned to see her standing there, flowers woven in her two blond-brown braids, her smile genuine. His face registered shock and amazement as he began speaking.

"Most sure, the goddess on whom these airs attend. Vouchsafe my prayer, and may you good instruction give on how I may bear me here? And my final request, which I do last pronounce is, o, you wonder! Be you maid or no?" He asked, thinking she was some sort of strange deity.

"No wonder sir," she blushed at his compliment, "But certainly a maid."

"My language! Heavens!" He didn't think anyone else spoke English?

"I am the best of them that speak this speech, were I where tis spoken," he bowed dramatically. His white shirt was loose and torn, his blue trousers were stiff from the dried sea salt, and his hair was splayed about like a blond crown. Miranda looked him up and down circling him twice; Ferdinand sort of looked shocked at her actions. What did she know of human nature? This wasn't strange for her; this was the way she thought all humans acted. She balanced on the balls of her feet, peering up into Ferdinand's eyes, "What art thou?"

"The Prince of Naples, that hath washed upon the shores of this strange isle. My eyes, never since at ebb, beheld the King, my father wrecked." His eyes held sadness, but he carried himself bravely, like Miranda had observed.

"Alack for mercy," Miranda threw out her arms, embracing the shocked stranger, who awkwardly patted her shoulder. He knew not what to do with the girl; it was good timing for Prospero to intervene.

"Follow me, traitor," Prospero appeared out of thin air, Miranda leapt away from Ferdinand. The Prince cocked an eyebrow, obviously wondering where the strange man with the staff had come from. I laughed internally at his expression of mixed wonder and fear.

"Traitor?" Ferdinand asked.

"Thou hast put thyself upon this island as a spy, to win it from me, the lord on it." Prospero raised his staff in warning. The foolish Prince, knowing not who the wizard was, drew his own weapon.

"No as I am a man," Ferdinand challenged.

"I'll manacle thy neck and feet together: sea-water shall thou drink; thy food shall be the fresh-brook muscles, withered roots and husks wherein the acorn cradled. Follow." Prospero waved his staff, and Ferdinand took a few haltered steps against his will.

"No, I'll resist such entertainment until you can change such," the Prince asked for his own doom. As he raised his sword, Ferdinand froze, unable to move. Prospero waved his staff and Ferdinand's sword had disappeared, the Prince stood; his hands tied behind him, and still unable to move.

"O dear father, make not too rash a trial of him, for he's gentle and not fearful. I do like him so," Miranda looked beseechingly towards the strange boy her age, who stood helpless. She was right; he had hooded his eyes, and looked at Prospero unafraid. Prospero chuckled fondly, wrapping his arm around his daughter; his plan was working so well…

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**(A/N In _The Tempest_ Miranda and Ferdinand do fall I love in the end. Prospero returns to Naples as the Duke of Milan, and everyone lives. Yay Shakespeare!)**


	2. Revenge and False Love

**I decided to make a short little 'book' of sorts. Parodies, different points of veiw...all sorts of things. **

**Romeo and Juliet: I don't own anything. **

**REVENGE AND FALSE LOVE**

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Danger. What's life without some? Revenge for my cousin's death would involve it. I mean, making Romeo Montague fall in love with me would be dangerous. My family couldn't know. But my cousin's life would be avenged. Mercutio was my favorite cousin and I loved him very much.

The Montague's would feel the same hurt and anger that I felt at my cousin's death. They wouldn't even know what hit them, because who would suspect me? Of all the people in the world, who would suspect me? Poor, pretty, desperate, lonely, Juliet Capulet.

Making the poor boy fall in love with me was no problem. Simple flirtation and some iambic pentameter…no problem. Making him propose was a small challenge, but after the wedding my plan would progress. Father whats-his-face thought I was desperately in love and only helped me along. Poor, romantic, foolish, blind old man. He had no idea he was one of the biggest pawns in the story, now did he? And it progressed again.

Progress it did, he fell head over heels. If I told Romeo to jump off of a cliff; he would, because he was a lovesick puppy. I had him on strings, I was controlling his every move and he didn't even know it. When I took the potion; I knew Romeo wouldn't get the note. I purposely wrote it in a code no one knew, see, it was my revenge. When I awoke and looked out into the dimly lit mausoleum, I saw him lying on the floor. My plan, the plan that took long enough to take effect, was finished.

This is where Shakespeare altered it for himself; turned it into some sort of melodramatic sob story that would make any sensible person cry rivulets. This is where everything is misinterpreted: I didn't fall to Romeo's side in an anguished heap of feminine humors. I stood and walked out into the light, tears of false love falling from my eyes. Secret tears of joy.

Because I had won. They paid, and I had won.

Because who would suspect me? Of all the people in the world, who would suspect me?

Poor, pretty, desperate, lonely, Juliet Capulet.

The avenger.

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**WAS IT ANY GOOD? REVIEW! **


	3. Thou Art Slain

THOU ART SLAIN

Back and forth our rapiers went, flashing in the light of the chamber. My mother and father lay dead upon their thrones, a goblet had spilled it's deadly contents on the floor. Leartes and I were locked in mortal combat, for only one of us would come out alive. I felt a prick in my side, averting my gaze from my for for only a moment to look, crimson stained my tunic. He had wounded me. I flicked my wrist deftly, nicking him in the side. He winced, but continued to fight bravely.

"Hamlet, thou art slain. In thee there is not a half hour's life," Leartes leered at me. His grin was evil, yet slightly crooked. His eyes were not quite right in their sockets. In his veins pulsed the same poison that lurked in mine. I could feel it, with every beat of my traitorous heart, it spread. That very heart, it was betraying itself, pulling the poison closer with every drop of blood that passed through it. Slowly but surely, the sluggish feeling of drowsiness and inability to move continued its path through me. It was a dull fire, a single, solitary flame in my side that assured me I was alive. My vision blurred and my breathing became harder. I still had life in me though.

"No medicine in the world can do thee good," he sneered again. I knew that even if I did have time to find the antidote, it would do me no good. It would not be fast enough in it's mission and I would be gone. The Prince of Denmark was dying. _  
_"The treacherous instrument is in thy hand, unabated and envenomed: the foul practice hath turned itself on me lo, here I lie, never to rise again: thy mother's poisoned: I can no more: the king, the king's to blame," Leartes said, more softly now.

"The point is envenomed too? Do thy work!" I turned to stab my father. He was going down with my mother, they would be forever happy together. Unlike my darling Ophelia and I...

_Dearest Ophelia, I am so sorry I could not save you from your fate. It was mine own tongue that condemned thee, and I do beg thy forgiveness. Prithee, sweet Ophelia, forget me. I know tis but a faint chance that we should meet again in the Kingdom of Heaven. I love you Ophelia, I truly love you. But love cannot save us now, dear. Neither of us. I am dying, and you passed before me. I pray you are well, love, goodbye. _

"He is justly served; it is a poison tempered by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: mine and my father's death come not upon thee, nor thine on me," Leartes gave a shallow breath and stopped. I knew he was dead, and his soul would rise to Heaven.

"Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee. I am dead, Horatio. Wretched queen, adieu! You that look pale and tremble at this chance, That are but mutes or audience to this act, Had I but time-as this fell sergeant, death, Is strict in his arrest-O, I could tell you-But let it be. Horatio, I am dead; Thou livest; report me and my cause aright To the unsatisfied," I felt my strength giving. I begged Horatio, my loyal friend, to give me the rest of the poisoned drink that would end me quickly. He refused, and yet I struggled still to have peace. There were words that I said, I do not recall them. I do not have to any more. My eyes close to melancholy peace, and I am dead. Prince Hamlet of Denmark, has died.

Then I see it, her face. It smiles at me, her arms reach out to envelope me. Could it be? My beloved Ophelia is here with me? And I am in heaven? I reach out to clasp her in my arms, we smile at each other for a while.

"I love you," I whisper.

"I know you always did. It was in anger that we did such foolish things. Heartbreak is not truly heartbreak, but a mask for anger to wear when he pleases," Ophelia clasped my hand in hers as we walked down white streets.

"I love you," I say again.

"I love you too," she says.


	4. Puck

Puck is my name. Mischief is my game.

Maybe the accident with Aphrodite's flower wasn't really an _accident_. Did you ever think that I might have done that on purpose? Give those stupid humans a lesson in humility? Nope. Oberon let me off scot free!

I'm in the clear! Out of the way!

Titania got what she deserved as well. Falling in love with Bottom, who was cursed with the head of an ass. Very nice move darling! I'll see you at the spa next week, won't I?

Being a fearie has it's ups and downs. I can use my being as an excuse for screw ups. But I am also limited in the ways of emotions. I am made of humor. That is my job. To make Oberon my King laugh. Make Titania my Queen happy. That is my job.

Although sometimes I can make mistakes, they are usually done on purpose. I am the reason people learn life lessons. I am the reason people have awkward silences and sudden bouts of laughter.

Puck is my name. Mischief is my game.

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**Curtain**


End file.
